Dad's Life 3D: The tween, a flat tire and growing up in Van Nuys

I didn't realize it at first, but this tween girl and dad thing is going to take some work. True, the tween girl thing stands on it's own, but throw in a little divorce and, kaboom, you've got drama.

Honestly, I figured I had a couple more years before "full on teenager" would kick in. But, clearly it's happening. And seriously, I'm not prepared for this! No shit, it's like Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde... Sigh. There's such balance in nature...

The good thing is that I've always been straight up with my daughter. And, she has always been a daddy's girl. So appropriately, I would always tell her "You are going to hate me when you're 13." This was of course when she was six, so she would immediately break out in song, "Daddy is the best, oh ya, daddy is the best ah huh..." That was then, and this is now...

The balance is tough. I want to give her the tools she needs to be successful in life, at the same time I want her to be herself. I also want her to be self sufficient. Speaking of tools, one great lesson in self sufficiency that I taught her, whether necessary or not, was changing a tire.

A few years back, on a fine, crisp morning in Venice, I came out to our car, only to find that our rear tire was completely flat. After a quick inspection, I found that there was a screw in the tire. So of course, I pulled out my phone to call AAA. My daughter was there watching. But, as the operator came on, instead of requesting help from a professional, I politely hung up and decided that we were going to change the tire ourselves. I didn't have to get to work. She didn't have to be to school. We weren't stuck on some desert road in the middle of nowhere on Spring Break, but if she ever is, I want her to be able to change a tire.

Look, I grew up in the Valley. The General Motors Van Nuys assembly plant was just over my back fence. In the 1970s, Van Nuys was the center of car culture in Los Angeles. Probably even Southern California. Although I was too young, the older kids in my neighborhood would cruise up and down Van Nuys Blvd. every Wednesday night. It was a place to be seen. A place where kids could be themselves. Hot rods, low riders, mini trucks and vans. Customs and rat rods. Van Nuys was also where the Trans Am was assembled. You know, like the one in Smokey and the Bandit! That car was made at the Chevy Plant on, you guessed it, Van Nuys Blvd!

Van Nuys was such a car town back in the day that there's even a great line in the 1977 film, The Bad News Bears, Breaking Training. Stein asks Kelly, "Yo man, do you even know how to drive this thing?" Kelly looks over, cigarette in mouth (at age 13), and says, "Dude I'm from Van Nuys. I was born to drive."

When you grow up in the center of car culture, it's hard not to have a little gasoline running through your veins. I love drag racing, NASCAR, Indy, Off-Road and Supercross. EVERY kid in my neighborhood knew how to change a tire... I myself could pretty much fix anything that broke on my first car, The Dasher, a 1976 Datsun B-210 Hatchback, as well as my 1965 VW Bug. Which, by the way, was a good thing, as both cars broke down often.

Whether it was because I jumped it too high over the railroad tracks and broke the exhaust (I learned that stunt one from one of the above mentioned older kids, Mark) or because the fuel filter clogged from running it out of gas too many times, I became my own mechanic!

We even had to change a tire one night in the pouring rain after I drove over the curb at Castle Golf in Sherman Oaks. The reason I drove over the curb is because the passenger side windshield wiper fell off earlier that night and I couldn't see out of that side at all. And, because we didn't bother to pull the metal part of the missing wiper off the windshield, there was a quarter moon forever etched into the Dasher's windshield. Who knew something other than a diamond could cut glass... I was 16.

I also had a 1970 VW Bus. Sigh. Good times. Those days may be long gone, but the memories we created in those cars will live on forever! Now I drive a full on baseball/dance dad car... A Ford Flex. Nonetheless, I can pack a bunch of kids and their stuff in that SUV, so life is good! And, it's not a minivan...!

So, my daughter learned how to change a tire, and she actually enjoyed doing it! It's true that she doesn't mind getting her hands dirty, but my hope is that she just enjoyed that time we spent together. Now, she wasn't a tween when that daddy/daughter moment happened, but when I look back on those formative years, it's those times that make me feel like we can get through this next phase together as well. Hell, maybe I'll even let her go to Spring Break with her friends some day!