Malawi, Danny Boy and Band-aids in my wallet

My mom.  My teacher.

I have learned a lot from my mom, but one of the most important things she's taught me is how to keep it cool when handling an emergency.  Don't get me wrong.  My mom can blow up.  But, when it comes down to it, she will never blow an emergency scenario out of proportion.  She will asses any situation, and handle it.  If she can't handle it herself, she will seek further professional care.  And, it's not hard to understand why she's this way when you consider she grew up on a mission in Africa, in the 1940s, and later became a nurse.  More on this in a moment.

Monkey bar fail

Like most parents, there is nothing tougher for me than seeing my kids in pain.  When they were little, I could hear the sound of their head hitting something from a mile away.  And, I knew that whenever you heard that silent gasp after they fell or bumped into something, it was only a matter of seconds before the huge wail of a cry came on.  The biggest boo boos so far with my kids were my son's broken wrist at four.  It was a monkey bar fail.  And my daughter's broken foot at 11.  She twisted her foot going down a few steps at Heidi Klum's house.  Yes, Heidi Klum's house.  Let's not forget, my kids are growing up in Los Angeles...

Truth is, my kids are as accident prone as any kid.  But, since boo boos hurt, and band-aids help... I've carried band-aids in my wallet since my daughter was in kindergarten.  I wish I could take credit for being this prepared, but I actually learned to carry band-aids in my wallet from another dad.  Mark Harris.  Dads.  Do this.   Put a few band aids in your wallet.  Even if your kids don't need them, another kid will.  Our job is to make boo boos better, and one band-aid can make a kid feel like you saved their life...!  Moreover, one band-aid can help you save another parent from at least 20 minutes of agony.  This is, above all, more important than anything else you'll learn in the nonexistent Parenting Manual For Dads!  We learn from each other, because...  Yes, it takes a village!

This all said, sometimes a band-aid won't do the trick.  This is where we, as parents, have to be strong for our kids...  When my son was stung by a bee on the forehead at the end of day four of our Hawaiian vacation, and the doctor told me that it was most likely going to, "look much worse, before it gets better," I knew that that I was in for a treat the next morning.  He was right.  It was truly hard to look at my son that next day, but as a parent, I had to suck it up and show him, and my daughter, that everything was going to be alright.  Cue Bob Marley...  "Everything is gonna' to be alright..."

Battle Royale with one eye

My son and I stayed in the hotel room together, while my daughter enjoyed her poolside palapa.  We could see her from our balcony.  He played Fortnite and MLB The Show.  He even taught me how to play Fortnite.  But, I only lasted one game before he gave me the boot for poor performance... We spent a lot of time chatting baseball, and life in general.  It was actually a great bonding experience, despite the fact that he looked like he had gotten beat up Mike Tyson.  The good thing is that he had no other symptoms from the sting that would cause it to be even a borderline medical emergency.  He had no respiratory problems, itching or discomfort shortly after the sting, the next morning or at any time over the course of the next few days.  The local doctor said the only thing to do was to watch him, and wait it out.  So that I did.  His only complaint, and he was actually proud of it, was that he could only play Fortnight with one eye, proclaiming, "I just got a Battle Royale with one eye!  That was beast!"

A girl and her palapa

I stayed by my boy's side for two days, the same way my mom or dad would have done for me.  And, while it was hard for me to see him looking the way he did, I never gave him any reason to fear that he wasn't going to be OK.  He's beautiful to me no matter what he looks like!  It's our job as parents, to create a safe space for our children so that anxiety never rules their world.  My son and I were actually able to relax for a couple of days, without having to rush off to a school event, practice or game.  We made real life work, with paradise just outside our French doors!

CPR training

Because my mom was a nurse, I come from a school where you don't let little things stop you from seeing the world.  I learned how to handle illness and injuries, whether at home, or on the road, from a place of analysis and activation.  Almost like CPR.  I say this because my daughter and I recently took a CPR class together.  It was a great experience for both of us, and an amazing, confidence building experience for her.  Ironically, many of the things we learned in that CPR class were things I have learned from my mom.  Well, except the bit about the AED.  That thing just didn't exist back in her day!  I've always assumed this parenting stuff was somewhat instinctive.  Some of it is, for sure, but some definitely is not.  Could it be, perhaps, that we've just had some good teachers along the way...?

Mom in Peru before we crossed Lake Titicaca      

My mom never let a sniffle stop us from kissing the Blarney Stone.  Or let a little "Montezuma's Revenge" stop a boat ride across Lake Titicaca.  Which isn't to say that she wasn't cautious.  She was very cautious.  But when it came to missing school, well, if you had anything less than Chicken Pox or the Flu, you were going to school.  In fact, I have a few perfect attendance certificates to prove it!  Oh, and if you have to Google "Blarney Stone" or "Lake Titicaca," I suggest you update your passport go and see for yourself!

I remember being really sick while traveling through Ireland at age 11.  We were on a bus.  I don't remember where we were going, but it was the worst bus ride ever.  I was so sick that my mom made the driver stop so I could get out for a breath of fresh air.  Back then people still smoked cigarettes on busses in Ireland.  My mom gave me a Coke that she had purchased at the last stop, and said, "drink this down like medicine."  I remember that the Coke was warm, and just before I drank it, a fly landed on it.  Or so I thought.  This of course caused a massive puke, that quickly spread across that cobblestone road somewhere in Ireland.  And then it began to rain...  Because this was Ireland!  No one I know can say that they puked on a cobblestone road in Ireland at age 11!  Age 18, maybe...

Perfect Attendance 1980

Now it was really starting to rain, so my mom said, "Come on.  You should be good my boy."  I was, and we got back on that bus together.  My mom was a badass!  I'm not sure exactly how she did it, but she got those old Irishmen to stop smoking!  We went on our merry way with those old guys singing Danny Boy as the bus bumped on down the road.  All I needed was my mom, and she was by my side every step of the way.  Traveling shouldn't always be beaches, Mai Tais and room service...  Don't get me wrong, that's nice too, but this is how the Donaldsons did it!

Malawi

My grandma is on the far right

My mom grew up on a mission that was in the southern part of Malawi, on the continent of Africa.  Malawi is landlocked by Tanzania, Mozambique and Zambia.  She was born in 1939 (She's going to kill my for revealing her age...), and if you ask her, they lived in the "sticks."  When I look at old pictures from where my mom grew up, she was right!

My grandfather, mom and a leopard!

My grandparents were instrumental in growing the roots for this mission, that later became a hospital in this rural section of Southeast Africa.  The hospital, Malamulo Hospital, is still there to this day.

My grandmother was a nurse.  She was born in Colorado in 1906.  My grandfather was an accountant and laborer.  He was born in South Africa in 1907.  They met, and later married on the mission in 1938.  They moved to Los Angeles when my mom was 15.

My mom followed in my grandma's footsteps and became a nurse as well.  She was a public health nurse in Los Angeles in the 1960s.  Like my grandma, she is a strong woman who has seen more, and done more than anyone I know.







Our last sunset in Maui was stunning.  As I watched the kids take their own pictures of its beauty, I was able to reflect on our trip.  It's ups and downs.  The time we shared together.  What we learned about Hawaii and Hawaiian culture.  For me, it was precious moments over days.


As the kids settled in for bed, the palm tree outside of our 6th story room was swaying back and forth, and to and fro.  Our summer vacation was an adventure.  The way summer vacations should be.  Cast yourself into the unknown, and you will always find beauty in other cultures, and in the places you don't call home.

Mahalo