Turning 50, and how to raise good humans through the art of bedtime stories!

Crusin' down the street in my
'68.  At 50 in a 50-year-old car.

Before my last post, I took a three month hiatus from my blog so I could turn 50.  Yup, 50...  During that time I had an opportunity to reflect on my life, and think about all the things I have accomplished, and of course some of the things I have yet to accomplish.  The bucket list stuff!

Turning 50 with the the crew I
"grew up" with in the Valley.

I've done a lot.  I've seen a lot.  To the extent that one might think with
turning 50, wisdom comes automatically.  I'm not so sure of that.  I think with turning 50 comes a series of life lessons and experiences that can contribute to one's "wisdom," but that there's still plenty to learn before one becomes truly wise.  Some wisdom is passed down from others, and some is gathered along your journey.  So, since this is a continued journey for me at this point, I've got a lot more to gather...!

Truth is, I think the best part of this gathering of life lessons is that you get to weed out some of the stuff you're not so proud of... and then pass the good stuff down to others.  As a dad, coach of youth sports and an entertainment business professional, there are plenty of opportunities to share, gift, and in this blog, exploit my life lessons!

The art of raising good humans

The positive, is that I do see a lot of the good stuff in my kids that I have passed down, or has been passed down thorough me from my parents or other influential people in my life.  They are truly good kiddos, but I won't know where this all ends up until much later in life...  Until then, my plan is to stay the course and do whatever it takes to raise good humans.

As a single dad, and even before I was a single dad, I spent a lot of time with my kids.  Raising kids can be frustrating at times, but it's also very gratifying.  That's where the wisdom comes in.  I used to tell my kids stories when they were little.  Some of the stories I would tell them were the same stories my dad would tell me, as I remembered them 35 years later.  My favorite was "The Stinky Billy Goat," which was my dad's twist on "Billy Goats Gruff."

My girl canoeing on the Venice Canals

where Daisy A Duck Lives

The real Princess Anexasia

The stories I made up for them always had an underlying theme that led to a life lesson.  Their favorites were, "Turbo the Bull."  Turbo was actually an ox who grew up with a herd of bulls.  He was much slower than the bulls, but his amazing strength is what gave him the ability to save a princess from a fallen tree...  "Isaac The Kitten with three white mittens" was about a kitten who loves to travel around the country on freight trains.  This story was based on my cat, Issac, who I grew up with.  As much as Issac loved to travel, he loved his humans even more, so he would always come back home.  "Princess Anexasia" was about a doggy princess who saved a baby bird, and taught her how to fly, even though she didn't know how to fly herself...  One of my
favorites was "A Horse Named Tinkle." Tinkle was a horse who was learning how to potty train... "Daisy A Duck" was about a young duck who was afraid to swim underwater...  "Mike the Cow" was about a cow who strays away from his family, but finds his way back home with the help of a monkey...  It had never occurred to me, but now that I think about it, that story just may be the very first story ever told about a transgender cow!

Storytelling is important.  The characters in my stories were always kind.  They overcame adversity with grace and always helped others.  The fact that my kids still remember these stories to this day is meaningful to me in many ways.  I think it helped create a solid bond between us during those formative years.  And, my hope is that all that time we shared at bedtime when they were little will help us get through the 'tween and teen years...!

The real life Isaac the Kitten with the
Three White Mittens, here with just his
one black paw showing

Like life, these bedtime stories should grow and evolve.  The other day, while running on the elliptical at the gym, I considered what might have happened to Tinkle as he got older?  I thought,
hmmm.  What if after he was potty trained, he grew up to be the fastest horse on the ranch.  His favorite riders were the most experienced riders, because they would run him as fast as he could go.  But then, as he gets older he can no longer run as fast as he did in his youth.  And this is why, during this phase of his life, younger riders love to ride him so much.  He makes them feel safe.  Now, he's happy that the kids love him so much, but he really misses the days when he was the fastest horse on the ranch.  Tinkle starts to become a bit ornery in his old age.  He thinks he's "seen it all" and no longer likes to roam too far from the stables.  In fact, his favorite part of every ride was when he turned around and headed back home.  When he turned 50, he changed his name to Max because Tinkle always made the kids laugh.  After all, this was a time in his life where he thought that he had to be a little more serious...

But one day he meets a little girl, who for the first time, finds her true self while ridding him.  She

An drawing I did in grade school

loves to ride him so much, that she never wants to turn back.  This of course annoys Max, because that's all he wants to do.  She pushes him to see places he had never seen before.  She would lead him out to new rivers so he could drink the freshest water.  She would lead him out to grassy fields so he could eat the freshest organic grasss.  She took him to sandy beaches where he could gallup on the soft sand for miles, and not hurt his hooves.  That young rider, with her eyes wide open, retaught that old horse exactly what he taught her.  That as long as you remain open to life's great adventures, there is always something new to see and experience.  She made his life complete.  And he helped her discover who she really was.  Oh, and yes, he now was totally fine with his nickname again!

"Coach Eric" as illustrated by
the incredible Peter Carpenter

Because I coach youth sports, I also try to pass a little wisdom on down to my players.  Have you ever heard the life coach concept, "Be, Do, Have?"  It's a pretty simple concept, and yet we as humans can make it quite complex.  Rather than start with "Have," like many of us do, you start with "Be."  You have to Be before you can Have, and in-between you have to Do...  Confusing?  Sort of, but not really...  When I introduced this concept to the fifth grade basketball team I coach, I mostly got blank stares of boredom.  But, now that I'm seeing some of the results, I can tell it's kinda' working!  Even if they don't know it.

Everyone wants to be the point guard.  So, I explained to them, in a very 10-year-old kinda' way, that in order to get the results you want out on the basketball court (Have), you have to take one thing that you're already good at, and then (This is my own twist), I want you to pick one thing that you want to get better at (Be).  And now that you've set your goal, all you need to do is go out and focus on doing whatever it takes to accomplish that goal (Do).  So far it's working.  In our last nail-biter of a game, the kids played their hearts out.  Every one of them.  Never mind how proud their parents and coaches were.  They were proud of themselves.  Every one of them lived up to their "Have."  Oh, and by the way, this isn't the first time I've tried new techniques with the players I coach.  Last year I invited my dear friend, and Mindfulness Coach, Charlie Allen, out to teach my baseball team how to relieve nerves before, and during games!

It's not a convertible '57 Chevy.  Yet...

And now back to me.  During the days that led up to that milestone birthday of 50, I couldn't help but think, "self, have you met all your goals up to this point?"  I pondered.  House on the Venice Canals?  Well, I bought one that was "canal adjacent" but I had to give that up...  So, No.  Farm house in Tuscany?  No.  1957 Chevy Bel Air convertible?  Well, does my sweet 1968 VW Bug convertible count...? So, No.  Getting paid to write a successful blog while living in above said farm house?  No!  Met the love of my life whom I will grow old with in said farm house during the summer, and in said house on the canals the rest of the year?  Not that I'm aware of.  But, that brings up a good point. "Be, Do, Have."  It's working for my 5th grade basketball team, so why not me!  All of this could be right in front of me, but perhaps "I've been living the life I planned, so I have missed the life that is waiting for me..."  Anyone know who I derived that quote from?

The good thing is that I'm not down for the count just yet!  My dad says his 50s were some of the best years of his life.  Even now at 84, if Santa Monica College called him up tomorrow and offered him a class to teach, "you bet your ass he'd be there in a heartbeat,"riding to the college down Pico Boulevard on his scooter, sporting a brand new suit and tie!

Some of my more recent peeps who I
am privileged to call my friends

I guess that the moral of this story is that you never know what's around that next turn, and there is always another mountain to conquer.  Have I reached my "Have?"  Of course the answer is no, but I've sure had a great time being the "Be" that I am, and have experienced countless incredible moments raising and inspiring good humans.  On this journey, I have seen some incredible things, and I have have met a lot of amazing people!  And that my dear friends is what it's all about.